


A Snake by Any Other Name

by DoomedKelpie



Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, Name Reveal, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27638732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: What did Janus name his pet snake, anyway?
Series: Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002450
Comments: 7
Kudos: 107





	A Snake by Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think Janus’s pet snake is named? ;3

Janus was reading a book in the commons living room, his snake curled around his shoulders while it napped. Usually, he would have done his reading in his own bedroom, but according to Patton, ‘he hadn’t left his room in like four days and he should come spend some time with them.’ Once he eventually agreed to come out, Patton asked him if he wanted to bake something or play a game together, but Janus said he wanted to read. Or really, he said he  _ didn’t _ want to read, so Patton knew that he meant he did. It seemed that Patton was content with that, though, so long as he sat in the living room for a while. Actually, Logan was currently reading in the living room as well, which was a normal occurrence for the other side. Virgil had eventually joined them on the couch, but rather than read a book, he was playing with his phone, likely scrolling absently through tumblr again.

Just as Roman entered the room, however, both Janus and Logan happened to flip a page at the exact same time.

“Oh no, now there’s two of them!” he exclaimed dramatically. 

“Do not awake my snake,” Janus spoke, purposefully rhyming.

For some reason, he found that it was a bit easier to say something without twisting it into a lie if he said it as a rhyme. That was a new discovery, though, so he didn’t want to bring it up yet, just in case it turned out that the ease was just because he hadn’t told the truth much lately. Or maybe it somehow counted as lying to himself because he believed it worked but not entirely? Oh whatever, it didn’t really matter. 

Roman flopped onto the couch, crossing his legs in a confident pose. 

“Apologies, snake,” he said.

Janus turned back to his book, not actually entirely sure if Roman was apologizing to him or to the sleeping snake directly. Either way, he had assumed Roman would just turn on the television and leave him to his book. But it turned out that Roman was in the mood to talk.

“Where’d you get that snake, anyway?” asked Roman. “I know that you can make clothes, but I didn’t think you could make animals.”

“I  _ can _ make animals.”

“Well, where’d it come from, then?”

Janus debated whether he should actually answer or just keep reading as if Roman never talked. In his silence, however, Roman poked him, clearly wanting an answer. He sighed.

“... I  _ didn’t _ find him in the imagination.”

“The imagination?”

Janus felt his heart flutter as he thought that Roman might be mad at him now. The imagination was more or less his domain, after all, and he might not like the idea of Janus slithering around in there and stealing things. His hands clenched tighter around his book.

“I didn’t think that the animals there could live outside the imagination…,” Roman spoke, thankfully sounding more confused and surprised than angry. 

Okay. Roman wasn’t going to start yelling at him. He forced his hands to loosen their grip and checked to make sure the talking hadn’t woken his snake up. 

“Well, my snake  _ certainly _ can’t,” Janus responded. “Maybe other creatures  _ can’t _ . Maybe they  _ can _ .”

“Hmmm,” Roman hummed. “I wonder if there’s a way to try it without risking killing one of them…”

Janus grimaced slightly. He’d taken the snake from the imagination soon after the others had rejected him. He was so  _ lonely _ back then that he just needed someone,  _ anyone _ , to talk to. At first, he’d tried to make stuffed animals out of the fabric he used to make clothes, but that wasn’t enough. He needed something  _ alive _ to talk to, but he couldn’t give anything life, not even in the mindscape. So, he went into the imagination and ended up finding this snake. The thought that the snake maybe wouldn’t have been able to survive outside of the imagination had never crossed his mind. Now, a spark of guilt lit itself in his chest and he reached up to gently pet the snake in a silent apology for an inflected wrong that the snake wasn’t even aware of.

“Actually,” Patton spoke up. “Does your snake have a name? Or is it just ‘Snake’?” 

Virgil snorted at Patton’s comment, and suddenly, Janus’s spark of guilt was overwhelmed by a wave of embarrassment. He felt his face heating up and tried to hide behind his book.

And of course, this didn’t work. 

“Woah, hold on, now!” said Roman. “What sort of name could this snake possibly have to make you all red in the face? You didn’t let Remus name the snake, did you?”

“I  _ didn’t _ already have my snake before Remus showed up,” Janus replied through his embarrassment, not wanting the others to start coming to all sorts of inappropriate conclusions about his snake’s name.

“Oh. Well, then how bad could it possibly be?”

Janus didn’t answer.

“It’s really not  _ that _ bad,” Virgil chimed in, still looking at his phone.

“So, you know the snake’s name, Virgil?” Logan asked.

“Yup.”

“Well, why don’t you tell us, then?”

“Hm, nah.”

Roman sighed. 

“Thank you for your contribution, Virgil. It was so  _ very _ helpful.”

“Maybe we can guess the snake’s name?” Patton suggested. “Janus, will you tell us if we get it right?”

Growing only ever more embarrassed, Janus just shrugged slightly, still not wanting to wake the snake up.

“Hmm. Slithers?”

“Scales?”

“Noodle?”

“Steve?”

“Cornbread?”

“I don’t believe any of those names would warrant Janus’s level of embarrassment.”

“True. Janus Jr.?

“Slimey boi?”

“Mr. SnakePants?”

And on the other sides, excluding Janus and Virgil, went, coming up with increasingly ridiculous names until the names started getting so over-the-top that Janus was starting to get insulted that they thought he would  _ ever _ name anything a name like ‘The Entire Bee Movie Script.’

“Oh, for the love of-!” Janus yelled. “Fine! His name is Snakey! Happy now?!”

Janus buried his face in his hands, having placed the book beside him. He could feel everyone staring at him.

“Oh, that really isn’t that bad.”

“Was that the truth or a lie, though?”

“It was the truth,” Virgil answered. “It really is named Snakey.”

“Hm… Well, I don’t know why you would be so embarrassed about that!” spoke Roman. “I mean, it’s not a name I would have expected from you, but it’s not  _ awful _ .” 

Janus let out an embarrassed groan. 

“Look, I wasn’t, like, _ nine _ , okay?!” Janus shot back. “I  _ haven’t _ tried to change it, but he  _ doesn’t _ only respond to Snakey!”

Then Janus realized that he probably shouldn’t have said that because, now, Patton looked guilty and the others were shifting awkwardly. Right. He just  _ had _ to bring up what happened when they were children again. 

He felt something poke his cheek with its nose.

“Ah… It seems Snakey is awake now.”

Janus sighed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Did you guess Snakey’s name? I just thought it would be funny to have Janus call it Snakey. ‘Cuz, like, kids give things silly names a lot. My brother probably had at least ten toy lizards, all named Lizardy. 


End file.
